so i found a job after all. not the best of job offers but it still would allow me to earn my allowance nonetheless. and how God works in the simplest of ways. i applied for an admin job but in a twist of circumstance i've found myself no where near a computer. i don't really think there's an actual job description for it, but i suppose a 'handy-man' comes close. i've had the experience of tracing and labeling hundreds of wires, working first hand with bangladesh workers moving tables, carrying 250 chairs with thai workers, and even having to catch a black cobra which ran loose. last of which was managed to be resolved with the help of a security guard(thankfully!).

i must say it wasn't as comfortable as i thought it would be. well who ever sends in a thought-out resume thinking of being a snake-catcher. and through the first week i've started to realise something about myself; on how God has been so gracious to me all these while, and how long it has been since being on the receiving end of things.

a couple of months ago i would have been scolded by my superiors for even lifting a chair into the room. a couple of months ago someone else would be given the orders instead. but today is not yesterday, and i felt what's it like to be summoned around, to be the victim of sarcastic witticisms, and to do the very jobs that i perhaps would have simply been myopic to.

but it was in a way more than any other; humbling. my late grandmother taught about how it's honourable to make a living out of your own two hands, i never truly understood the weight of that till now. don't get me wrong, i'm by no means juxtaposing myself to another; but in the recent week more clearly than ever, i see how it's God measuring me against me. in the simplest of methods i felt God reminding me of how small i really am without Him. how we are all just another face in this vast earth, no matter what we think of ourselves.

humility. it couldn't be screamed any more loudly. in the search of wanting more and more of God, how often than not did i fail to first circumcise my own heart. to replace that of which is temporal with that which is eternal. in the course to direct my life on the path i deemed right, i realise how hard i have gripped onto the steering wheel. how is that only when adversity stings does my heart prostrate; how does a heart that's filled with its own construct of agendas be desperate for a higher being?

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." - Ezekiel 36:26

the past week has served me a timely reminder of how a humble and contrite heart is quintessential for a heart to be made whole. because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart. all of which God bestows should we but learn to ask.

for the only whole heart is a broken one.

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1975

"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm'.

The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.

Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.

Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.

So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.

He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.

He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.

And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'

My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm.

And when it’s time, our good-byes will be complete."

- excerpt taken from 'have a little faith', by Mitch Albom.







spoke volumes to me.