Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose

well okay. Lunar New Year was just the same. i wont say its that boring nor would i say it was that fun either. well i must say pastor jeff is spot on mention that it would most probably be the same questions every year, "where you studying now?" and "do you have a girlfriend yet?". haha and i find it really amusing when my aunts esp keep insisting that i do, and claim to have spotted me with some girl with shoulder length hair. haha okay after denying all their claims i decided to play along with them, which wasnt such a good idea after all lah. haha.

did most of my visitation on the first day, and went over the rayson's house at night with a few others to jam abit. i think he has like 7 guitars now haha madness. and his dad was real nice and perhaps wealthy enough to give each of us a $10 red packet each. LOVE YOU FRIEND!!

i kind of gave the second day a miss, cause everyone would probably be gambling and stuff so i guess i would most probably be bored i guess. went out with martin and matt, then proceeded to his house to watch saw 3.

sheesh the plot's real good. it concluded the whole saw trilogy. and definitely the gore factor was there, but i felt that FD3 had more gore in it. haha but the plot is good enough to cover for it. played with sassy the dog, okay she's just called sassy. she's so big now lah goodness. and according to the papers she's supposed to be in the heat now. haha acting crazy and stuff.

okay i met gideon afterwards at the shelter near my place at ard 12am. i realised that i seriously dont know much about myself, as in character and all. and after some talk and evaluation i think i know myself more know than i ever did in my past 18 years. as in i neva stopped to think why certain things happen in a certain way. i neva saw how everything was indeed linked. sheesh. but at least for once i felt that i had some sort of idea why things are going on the way it is.

and even today as i thought through certain stuff, they do seem to fit. perhaps in an odd way. oh well.

so many things that i dont understand.

anyway, back to school tml. and i need help with my chemistry. ANYONE HAS CHEM TUITION!!?? please let me know thanks.

been feeling so mel today, or rather emo if it helps in your understanding. slept real late into the day, which i aint gonna say wad time or u know how a pig i am.

and my day was kinda spoilt when i woke up so yeah.

went out to study with gideon and the rest. gosh i felt so so mel. then u know when u listen to worship songs, sometimes God's presence keeps lingering around and stuff, kinda make u seem emo and all. i duno if u get what i mean lah but yeah. haha. and gideon was telling me i was freaking him out cause i wasnt acting like myself. eh i had to try to become normal lah, haha. so yeah.

i came back ard 11.30pm. and when i went to my table to get some paper to do my bio tutorial i saw this red packet from my sis a year ago. i realised that it had 4 dollars inside lah. i felt so touch like how long she had to save up, being given only 70 cents a day, to be able to give that red packet to me. sheesh a real token of love. then i recalled about the teaching i prepared yesterday at NE training class, and realise how great is God's love for us then, that He gave us(humans who did the very things that He hates), such a big red packet, containing His son's life, sealed with His only Son's blood.

yeah anyway,

yeah.

God pour out Your glory, i can't do this on my own.

Fall upon Your mercy, call upon Your kindness.



one step at a time..

i feel so happy today, because i feel accomplished!

today was real tiring lah. PE was madness, running and more running and more station training, and wad nots.. BUT i managed to stay awake till the end of the day, not ponning any tutorials nor lectures. PLUS i did my bio tutorial, well at least half of it. and not only that, i went for econs make up tutorial!! okay which i totally didnt understand anything lah but anyway..

so i made a promise to myself and God, and to Mr Yeo that i would hand in my chem practical. and i planned to do so by today. so i stayed back in school till like 6.20pm and finally finished what i could, then as i happily made my way up to his pigeon hole i realised that they had closed the shutters alr.. so i couldnt hand it up.. ay nvm.

okay so i took the bus home which somehow took so so long so i reached home at 7.30pm. so i had to postpone my tuition to 8pm. YES TUITION!! im finally going for tuition again!! yes i know its nuts to feel so happy bout such a disaster, but then again, i know its about time that i have that feeling of knowing what's going on in my studies again.

okay honestly i was real tired but anyway, went to Mrs Lee's place. yes the same tuition place i went to 3 yrs ago when i was in sec 3. so nostalgic lah. the playground downstairs, her son whom was once so small and cute, the walkway etc. haha and okay to be honest she hasnt changed much in her looks besides her hair. but she said she cant recognise me anymore lah so wadeva haha. and yes!! i know my vectors now!! okay at least more than half of it. sheesh so much stuff to cover lah.

oh yeah then on my way back i passed by this old and familiar road. the one that appeared in my dreams a couple of times now. it was my old student care road lah. seriously that place is like a box of memories both pleasant and dull. that place was like the place where i felt the most alone yet the most independent i guess. where i learned to fend for myself when i was young. it was like the times of tamayi cars, digimons, and when the movie Saving Private Ryan just made it to the theaters. i think its like 8 yrs ago when i was in pri 5. it's also the place where some teacher or issit one of the other students there came and told me that my mom was over the phone and she just gave birth to my sis. haha so so so long long long ago..

and yes! i wanna study and be a salt and light in my studies as well.


-listening: waiting here - reuben morgan

it feels so.. intangible..

so in-between..