so here we go. some 24 hrs later we would be falling in and making our way over the brunei training facility and ultimately, to the brunei jungles and up the mountains. probably gonna be like the most defining moment for us all in the infantry wing as to what everyone else says, and gonna be even more memorable thanks to our awesome monsoon season unleashing down rain till it floods till the waist levels at the survival sites. but im kinda looking forward to it in a way, like how often do u get to spend 3 days being totally alone and with nothing to distract yourself with except maybe the stuff u have to construct and all. real good opportunity to spend real quiet time with God in all the ways that matter.

i recall some two weeks into ocs when i realised the role of the cadet wing sergeant major(cwsm), i told myself that the one who gets the appointment for brunei is totally sad and pitiful, besides being the busiest person alive. and lo and behold, "cswm: shawn". haha thanks alot. oh God i need your peace and wisdom to handle this as effectively and efficiently as i can. let me not fall ill or anything like that, let me handle it with You.

okay anyway, i did be gone tmr night till the 7th of dec. jungle confidence course so they call it, hope it all goes well and no one fails it. God help me make the wise and right choices during the navigation phase and help me lead my group well, lead my group by your grace and direction.

so till then people. and gosh one tree hill is getting unbelievably good. come on give me a tv or a computer in brunei.

im back from an entire week outfield. ex robinson crusoe, ex cast away and ex hunter I. yeah i suppose ex cast away was really a memorable and rather painful one. i was cut, burnt, bleeding and famished at pulau tekong for the 3 days, living off wadeva was left of the 24 combat rations we had from robinson crusoe. i suppose it's good preparation for jcc in brunei(which apparently is just two weeks away), but well starving in the cold in groups of three still seem alot easier than starving alone in brunei. i guess what made the entire process alot worse was the wounds i had on my left knee that i inherited last sunday while cycling. the wounds wouldnt dry or clot so they kept bleeding and made all the adhesives soaked within minutes. it was like plugging a leaking tap with cotton wool. oh well at least it wasnt infected given the environment and conditions it had to be in.

people say that a song carries a message, or rather paint a picture or a particular emotion that the writer holds or tries to portray as he crafts the song. and its sort of like as we listen to them we sort of get the mental image or have this exhibit of emotions of roughly what the writer is trying to drive at, but almost never being able to capture exactly what the song really means or holds.

as for me, i suppose certain songs do capture or freezes a certain time frame and brands chapters of the past, or paints a particular emotion that i cant seem to grasp or put into words. like how wave goodbye by steadman always reminds me of the times of strained relationships between my family and i and being lost in it all during the lower sec days, hold on by the shore never fails to cast me away at some remote island in full view of the splendor of an orange sunset to take a breather from life. several ways to die trying by dashboard confessional very accurately depicts us being lost in a world of selfishness and individualism. hands down by dashboard confessional reminds me of when i was 11 yrs old sitting down by the table with my family at some hard rock cafe at melbourne, australia. i remember sitting there feeling all so bored and saw the acoustic version of it being aired on the tv above the counter, and told myself i was gonna learn the guitar and play that song on my wedding day, which also automatically became my fav song for years now. and the list really goes on and on.

i duno why im saying all these but it was just a random thought i had while making my way back in the rain. i suppose maybe thats why people say music is in itself a language, and im definitely also talking about classical pieces and all. ay wadeva.

oh yeah something that really made alot of sense to me while i was reading this book a few weeks back.