i got water baptised today, on the 19 Feb 2006. yeah its a whole fresh and obviously new experience for me. i learnt alot today, aint gonna like tell ya all what i did, but rather how i felt. today was indeed a day that pratically all of us Christian would never forget.

i was the first one to get water baptised in my lane. By my shepherd Gideon, Pastor Shirley and i duno what's her name. some other leader. well anyway, basically 3 questions would be placed to you. do u believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and that He died on Good Friday and rose again 3 days later to give us life to the fullest? do you accept and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as a personal Lord and Saviour? are you willing to follow God and have a lasting relationship till the end of my life or till when Jesus returns? its either a yes or a no answer, nothing else. these 3 questions, though simple and straightforward it may seem. hold much much significance and value in them.

well my baptism name is Shawn, okay which means im keeping my own name. very largely due to parental reasons. i am real glad my dad and sis came down to Big Splash to witness my water baptism. mom couldnt come down coz she had to spend time with my bro. well anyway, was really hoping my dad would have stayed alittle longer to like be able to have a chat with my shepherd/District leader, and find out more about the church and all. oh well.

my sheep kaiwen was also getting water baptised today, being now called Elijah. yanyu and zixin were the two others from north-east getting water baptised today too.

during my water baptism, shirley told me a verse which God had impressed upon her heart as she was praying for me.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

its a verse i highlighted in the bible but didnt take much note of it. well it seems to make so much more sense now! and gideon later shared that while praying for me in the hall God impressed the word for me, courage. not just courage on face value, but courage to stand up for what is biblical and right, even when the whole world turns away.

yeah thats us four water baptisees on the first row, sitting down.

was like walking back home from junction 8, and reflecting upon the day. i was like so lost in awe at His majesty that i just looked up into the sky and glanced at the stars. i spotted the belt of stars my tuition teacher once told me about. okay fine it was a perfect cloudless night for viewing stars. then i saw something moving in the sky, i so thought it was a shooting star. yeah but well it turned out to be an airplane. haha, but then!! out from the corner of my eye, i REALLY saw a REAL shooting star!! its like in that split second lah, on how just made me look to the heavens and see shooting star. haha okay i was erm, blown away. lost in awe and wonder. it seemed as though God was so close to me, and just played a friendly joke on me. i could almost see myself laughing with Him.

alright. im offically dead to my own self. today marks the burial of the old me. the funeral of myself in a grave of water. and i start my life afresh and a new today, infront of all those present to see. today marks the decision to officially be a participant in God's game plan. today i got of the grandstand, and take it to the pitch.

what's your valentine's day story? i've been hearing stuff like, guys playing the guitar for girls. roses, balloons, song dedication, outings, and stuff. wanna hear my valentine's day story!? haha say yes.

well i cancelled everything that i had on for today. yes i cancelled whatever plans that i had on valentine's day. not that im a kill joy person, not that i dont like valentine's day. it's just that i thought that maybe this year, i would like dedicate this special day i guess, to the first love of my life. i dedicated this day, to reflecting on the love of God, and to well, come back once again to the essence of loving Him.

i went down to nyjc this morning, partly coz i wanted to like build a stronger relationship with my sheep, and also to see how nyjc is really like. the school seems cosy, and was more of the neighbourhood type. im fine with it honestly, nice people and stuff. nice teachers that accepts even us crashers into their tutorials. i crash econs tutorial, GP tutorial, physics Lecture and i forgot what else. okay its not exactly crash, coz i told the teachers that im here to visit the sch and see how its like, which is true what.

went down to bugis after that and all, which wasnt that impt. well anyway, caught some rest at home and then went down to bishan S11 to meet my guys.

yes that's when it all started, the closeness and intimacy with God all began. walking through j8 i just saw couples after couples, students my age, students our age, holding hands, hugging and stuff. at times we wonder, the world seems to offer life at the best doesnt it? and how its all so tempting to get into a relationship as well. oh i felt so assured, i felt so secured and like focus, and in a weird way i started to like feel kinda happy. okay i guess the correct word is still assured. what greater love is there? what other alternative is there for such acceptance? such security? such assurance? i walked on through j8 with such anticipation, really, that you know we would like come together with my caregroup as one body of Christ, and have dinner together.

we walked over to bishan CC there after to worship God. this very valentine's day, 14 Feb 2005, i cancelled all our plans, we forego everything okay, i tell you a bunch of JC students giving up what would be probably the most impt day to many others, and dedicating it to God alone. it's just truely amazing.

went to coffee bean to sit a while, while martin went back to get his JAE stuff. luke then shared with rayson and i some of the problems he is currently facing, stumbling blocks and all. tried to help him out a bit, but he couldnt, and i guess didnt wanna share enough to permit us to do that. well but he did share with the leaders so i guess its fine.

the day did not end there! the love story hadnt come to an end, coz we can neva get tired of God's presence and touch amen? rayson, luke, martin and i went over to the playground near my place, where martin started off by sharing his very own life testimony. apparently this was one side of him i neva knew, we neva knew, no one ever knew. i thank God for his sincerity and openness, and its just so, obvious i guess on how much He has changed for God, and by God. honestly, you can neva imagine he was like that lah.

okay this is where we come to the climax of the love story. we had rayson lead us into worship, something which we hadnt had for like a very very long time. coz normally he was just the guitarist what. i tell you the presence of God was just overwhelming. at about 11.50pm, four JC guys were like squeezed in a playground, dwelling in the heart of worship. i was already blown away in the first worship song, was like in tears and all already. the others were just so ministered, you can sense it in the spirit. it felt so heartwarming, it felt so assuring. what i needed most wasnt gifts, nor was it flowers and stuff. i needed God. i needed God so badly that Valentine's night. i needed Him to guide me in my choices, i needed Him to provide a breakthrough in so many areas. i just cried out to Him, with desperate arms outstretched and hurried feet i ran to Him. Oh Lord, just guide me everyday like You are forever doing. tears of gratefulness, tears of thanksgiving, tears of wide-open wonder, tears of awe.

all in all we did 5 worship songs, and the worship lasted for 1 hr and 5 mins. yeah i got to admit it was rather long, in fact its the longest coporate worship i had in my entire life. what was over an hour seemed like 10 mins i guess. and when we opened our eyes we realised that well, we were back in the playground. haha God knows where our spirits were led to. ended at around 1 am, and martin came over to submit the JAE application, and left for home like 20 mins ago.

i gotta submit my JAE application by 4.30pm, just like every other JC1 student has. regardless of the choice, i just pray that it would be the best plan for my life. and that the decision is not based on where i want to go, but where i need to be. and that it would be not based on me, but on God's will.

so i didnt go to sch today, but went down to RC instead for the sec 4s prayer meet. had worship and all. i guess it was ministering, everyone was nervous and uptight bout the results. but Gideon pointed it out very clearly that whatever the results is, we know that it's part of God's best plan for us. and that we can rejoice cause we know that God is giving us the best plans for our lives, we can rejoice just because of we know who holds our tomorrow.

so we had the debrief and stuff, and the sec 4s left for their schools. i stayed back with kaiwen for abit, i mean our school's only like a 15 mins walk. low and behold, at around 2.15pm, melcher called to tell me that the principal had started the O level results speech. i was like just packed my guitar and all, and ran down to school. indeed we were abit late and all.

really kinda warm to see everyone back again, esp in school uniform. and to see the teachers and everybody. the principal announced that our school did quite well, had like an average of 12.3 for L1R5. okay maybe not that well for other schools, but its good for a neighbourhood sch okay.

okay to cut matters short, blah blah blah, and it was finally my turn to get the results. yeah if u recall that how i really took an amazing number of risks and all, and how i screwed up here and there. i kinda told my friends, parents, and myself that i would get probably 12-14, but i had no absolute idea really, and that if i get below 10, it cant be me. i dont deserve it, it would certainly be God's grace.

yeah so it was my turn. haha yeah fine im getting to it. i kinda went to get my results with some kind of nervous yet un-nervous attitude. my form teacher and my bio teacher was there to give our class our results. then the moment i went there, i saw these two pairs of very disappointed faces staring at me. then my form teacher said, "you got to prepare yourself for the results." in mandarin, so i was like quite stun, and my teachers like asked me to sit down first. then they went, "you got to prepare yourself mentally." and looked down. i was like too shatalaba to digest what they are saying. so they asked why i came in so late, where did i go before this. i said i went for sec 4s prayermeet, which lead to my bio teacher saying something God. haha okay i cant remember. they sent forth the message that i did real badly, and they took an awfully long time with me compared to the others. they asked me what range would i think i get, i said 12-14, and that i really didnt know.

"you got to prepare your heart and mind. are u ready for this?"

wah fine i cant stand them. yes they were pulling my leg. haha stupid. cant believe even teachers do this sorta thing. i did much better than expected, and i thank God for that. i had 7 pts for L1R5. A1s for L1 and R1, two math and bio, A2s for Chem and Phy, and of course Chinese B4. and my bio teacher was like saying to my form teacher, "this fella, every saturday skips half of my bio pratical to go and pray to the one above(she meant for service). this time, looks like the one above likes him and answered his prayers" haha i was quite stunned lah. coz was like i looked at the paper. dont quite register. saw two number 8s below, thought its my score, but read it to say its the number of subjects i took, and the other number of subjects graded 6 or better. dont quite register. haha fine i was erm, confused on what to feel.

looking back, and looking through my results. i realised that God really has His way about things. let me bring you back to about May last year. when my form teacher like talked to me one to one, coz i did something stupid, and she knew that i was a Christian and had quite alot of church stuff to attend to. i recall very vividly, she asked me whether has Christ really changed me. i turned to her and said it right at her, yes. then we talked more and she said that she believes in the bible, and that maybe one day she would accept Christ personally as well. i thought about what she said about me needing to balance my time well, and told me that im sure that if there is a God, He would want me to do well in my studies too.

i thought about how on the many saturdays, i tried to persuade my bio teacher to let me off for service, and how i promised her i would do well for bio in the Os. how she told me that as a student i should be more responsible towards my studies, and place it before anything else, esp since that period of time was like a month before Os.

i thought about how my parents were seriously against me serving God during the O level period. and how i went for caregroup till very late in the evening, reaching home at around 10+ in the evening. and how they made it very clear that at this rate i would certainly screw my Os.

then it suddenly struck me, that in a very comforting way i guess, how God answered my prayers. on how He remains so faithful to me, during this time. and how He responds to what i am fasting for. yes in case u do not know, im fasting and would be breaking fast today. i fasted mainly for my family, praying that God would come in and give my family a breakthrough, in terms of the problems that are incurring in it.

now that with my results He gave. it all makes sense. it comes into picture. on how you serve God to your best, study to your best, God wont short-change you, knowing that even if u didnt do well, its His bestest plan for you! so whats there really to worry bout. i aint getting prideful, no way. i showed my teachers that Christians can serve God and study as well. its like a testimony, on how i was once bottom 6 or 8 in level, and how my rotten attitude sucked so badly, on how God changed me, on how He picked me up from whereever i was. this would change my parents prespective on me serving God i guess, on how its possible to excel in both areas, studies and serving God. at least there's no reason to come dressing me down that its coz of me serving in church. at least right now, i can serve God to a larger extend and scale with more freedom and less persecutions. at least right now, they see the life im leading.

and so the prophecy came true. remember during our december church camp, how pastor shirley prophecised that this year's O levels and A levels graduates would set the bench mark, would surpass all previous records. and that there's gonna be a breakthrough in our studies. yes many of us servants and children of God did well.

so you all may be wondering, do i deserve it? No i dont. yes i can tell you that i dont deserve it. i guess God's being over gracious to me, but im sure He has His reasons. it now seems that God is putting me through another important decision i have to make. on which route im gonna take. my mom is strongly encouraging me to go to like VJC or NJC, okay fine, she wants me to go there. but in a way im reluctant to leave North-East, and also SAJC has no J1 brothers. it would be in a sense not very wise to leave like that. decisions, choices, yes for once i gotta decide.

my form teacher was like okay, quite really moved i think. i duno she seemed real touched. haha she just like came over to me, while i was on the phone, and went to like mess my hair up playfully. haha yeah wadeva man. really hope that one day she would come to know the meaning in her life. the meaning and purpose of life. and that one day, she would come to know the saving grace of Lord Jesus Christ.

3 Prayer Requests:

1. Family.
2. February Harvest.
3. Caregroup.

Lord, i'm just speechless and in awe.

realised that i dont blog as frequently as before. well okay i shant let this website just rot away. God's been speaking to me much recently. yes and i learnt what it means to really give my life to God and at the same time, live life to the fullest. feels like i've been stretched lots lately, not as in just to feel so worn out, but at the same time, stretched to grow and mature more in God.
ah im just so grateful for everything, yes for everything. Lord, teach me to rejoice in every and any kind of circumstance.

had the first valentine's service today, well and guess what the teaching was about? Sex and Spirituality. not the normal sunday topic you did find in a church. yes but its an issue that even God addresses in the bible, so we wont and cant just ignore it esp since teenage promiscuity and such stuff is on the rise all around us.

you did probably be expecting a sermon on what we mustn't do, and rules and regulations. nah that isnt what the sermon is about. that isn't what God is about. God gives us freewill, knowing true love cant be forced. rules and regulations makes up a religion, not a loving and personal relationship with God. instead it was more about why we should wait and the biblical perspectives behind sex and spirituality. and the goodness that God has install for us. the final decision? Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey the world rather than God.

It works along the same context as BGR. the world says, "yes, its hip and cool." i give up the dating game so i can focus on serving God, and its more to that. true love shouldn't be all about seeking acceptance, or about wanting security. it's being unfair to both parties, depriving each other of the chance of a perfect and loving relationship with a perfect and loving God. Lord, i trust in Your plans for my life. i wait in Your hope, to understand sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness. show me Your ways so that i can be fully accountable and just to the people around me.

you know as we went on through the service. it was just so heartwarming to realise that God gives us a place and family in which can confide in, and trust totally, even stuff like sex and spirituality. thank God for this channel of openness i can, we can, have in His family. i thank God for the shepherd and sheep system we have in our church, in that absolute trust we can have that whatever is shared will be kept within biblical boundaries and comfort. ah thank God.

we're gonna get back our GCE O Level results next week. probably on the 10th of Feb, Friday. i really have no idea what to expect. yes many mistakes and risks i made and took. i really am just so clueless to the grades, whether or not im gonna be able to stay in sajc. i wont feel depressed or rejected if i dont do well. okay maybe i would, but i wont let it get the better of me. yes just gonna accept it and have faith in God's plan for my life. we were like planning a stay over the night before and like praise and worship the whole night. right man to like get our hearts ready or something! i just pray that i can at least stay in sajc, or i would probably go to the other north-east jcs or something. God use me a support for others. I'm trusting and accepting Your plans for my life. i surrender all unto You Lord.

the worship that has been stuck in my head, and i think the lyrics are really meaningful and revelant, especially at this point in time.