and i passed my btt(basic theory test)! lol i would like to say that i DID study for it. i felt so sad and deprived reading through the book, and what made it more agonising was i seemed to be reading it really slowly. i think i lost wadeva concentration ability i once had, it was a total chore just memorising those bus lane timings(which didnt come out sadly). i wonder how one survives uni.

and i bumped into an old friend today, one who had awol-ed for over a year. i dont suppose you would be reading this but you better turn yourself in and stop ps-ing after monday! and you owe all of us lunch.

nothing much happened lately, except how my sis' becoming some young entrepreneur, together with my mom on their little sales expenditure. they kinda made like flowers and all with beads and stuff(which turned out surprisingly nice) and been selling them online and at flea markets. yeah she actually created a blog to sell those stuff and made like $40+ alr. haha bright little kid eh? yeah of course she's my sister.

and apart from the fact that i ripped off my pull-up bar, and trying to kill a cockroach by batting it with a newspaper, only to send it flying towards my mom upon impact releasing a catastrophic jump and scream.

ah, its a beautiful week.

Get a little anxious
Sometimes you'll be gone and I'll be left behind
Get a little nervous
Sometimes it'll be my cue and I'll forget my lines
Get a little lost look
And some staring from the corner of my eye
Never really mastered disinterest

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living Bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me
O, the fullness of His love
O, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way

All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me

i was young and little, and i believed in the tooth fairy. i remember how i used to get really excited when i found a tooth to be shaky. i would constantly and subtly use my tongue, to coax it into deracination. i found it rather suspicious at first, like would this fairy know i had a missing tooth? would she know to look under my pillow for it? and then reward/comfort me with a penny?

well like every other naive innocent kid i prized my first tooth, washed it and packed the treasured tooth into a piece of tissue, then tucked it nicely under my pillow. i prayed to God asking Him to remind the tooth fairy of my mark to adulthood, and tried to "catch the tooth fairy in action" through half-closed eyes disguised with my sleepy face. i imagined her flying through the window grills and coming up close to my face. well of course, i couldn't stay awake and eventually fell off to sleep.

and the next morning i opened my eyes and recalled my major-league plan. took a deep breath and pried the pillow out from under my head. lo and behold i found a really shiny twenty cent coin. i cant really remember if the tooth was still there but i recall running around the house telling the world how i made my twenty cents as though i had just stumbled upon a million dollar career. i remember thinking if the incisors could fetch twenty cents, the molars would have earned me a fortune. i felt like the luckiest kid in the world.

the tooth fairy however, seemed to be a little unfaithful in time to come, only occasionally remembering to reward me for my martyrdom to bring her the sacrifice. and in time to come, she forgot about me altogether. and in time to come, i moved on to being facinated about bigger things; like how santa claus could actually come into my house to place a present at my christmas tree in the living room when my house had no chimney. my mom told me santa claus used the main door, and how she unlocked the gate to let her in. and how i was in utter disbelief on how she could not have thought of waking me up so that i could meet santa myself.

don't you remember the times when you were a kid? times where everything was so simple and innocent, so mysterious and enticing. times where you believed that you could fly if u willed yourself hard enough to.

i guess its what we grown-ups(?) like to cite as child-like faith. something we were all once capable off but seem to have become too sophiscated for. aren't we still children in God's eyes? yes we may have grown up, weathered the storms and bagged a reputable catch of experiences, but some things doesn't change does it? our faith in God acclaims independently from our situations and fixes. our faith in God is more than capable of being child-like.

i say we rid ourselves from the suit and tie, shed the image of a "weathered-man". God deserves a faith more authentic and capitulate.

and i still deserve to know how my mom put those coins under my pillow without me knowing.

but that's what i get for taking it for granted;
i never even meant it.

if i gave up on it, can i catch myself?

on a happier note, my sis made it to the nationals after apparently trashing her opponent today at the zone finals for table-tennis. haha im real proud of you sis. maybe if when she gets into finals and i shall apply for leave to watch her play.

because in our family we dont just win, we kick butts!

i keep this blog for memories' sake. i keep it so that some time down the road i can look back and remember what happened, my thoughts on that day, and ultimately who i was. i duno maybe recently it feels like nothings really worth remembering or jotting down. in fact some events i rather not remember at all.

now with the spare time i have since i get to stay out, there's a few things that i've been wanting needing to come to terms with. things that i need to put behind me before i make any decisions or commit to anything. because sometimes i rather live with "what could have been"s rather than face the disappointment of failed expectations and the vanity of sacrifices.

i know its being really selfish, but hey everyone has their own demons.

i guess it's time i faced mine.