about 2 nights ago i got a little angsty and was like listening to dashboard confessional while reading some poem melcher gave me some time ago, haha then i got inspired to write my own so i took a line from dashboard and expand on it. wrote abit then decided i should finish it fast cause i was totally losing the angsty feel.

haha yeah so here it is, my dashboard wanna-be poem. though i dont really know what i wanted it to mean anymore..

im really glad that friday and saturday are over. been waiting for sunday to arrive ever since thursday. i had to get up at 8am on friday (yes believe that) then worked from 10am to 6pm. i wont say it was as tiring as serving in a wedding dinner or banquet, but it was still no easy work. then singing prac from 7.30pm-11pm, dinner at 12.30am. then sat waking up again at 8.30am then prac at 10am, followed by first service, then second, then shepherd's meet, then CG evaluation.

oh, and during work on friday, i met a missionary there, as in he was my working colleague for the day. his name's daniel. talked to him quite a bit and realised that he was not from any particular church but like he wanted to do something for God. he left his life in singapore, followed a pastor friend of his and went over to thailand to like build an orphanage for young children, and shared the Gospel in various villages and to the children as well. and something like he wrote in to some organisation in charged there to dig a well and some fund something i forgot for the sch. oh yeah he showed me some pictures of his missionary work there too.

what really amazed me was that he's already like perhaps in his late 50s? and to have him as like my colleague felt, different. like u know waitering and stuff isnt exactly easy work and like the managers shout and order people around and stuff, so i duno, i kinda really respected him for what he's doing and all. he's like back in singapore for a month only so he's gonna earn some cash then go back to thailand to continue his work.

talked to him more after work, like asked him how does he feel doing all these, and like wad does his family think about it, esp like even when he kinda had to give up a marriage life. really encouraged to hear him say that he never found something so meaningful and joyous like this in his entire life, and that i wont get what he means unless i try it out myself.

and right;

God, i hear You.

Miss Murder says:
my dad will carry me and put me in the car
with all i am. says:
then put a plastic bag above your head
Miss Murder says:
OH YEAH
with all i am. says:
OH YEAH SOMEMORE
Miss Murder says:
I RMB DOING THAT

well just for the record, someone just forgot to plug in their synthetic brain LOL.


and of course who can forget,
Miss Murder says:
dont spoil your pretty face

thanks for the sincerity mate, appreciate it. haha.

is there anyone that fails?
is there anyone that falls?
am i the only one in church today feeling so small?

cause when i take a look around, everybody seems so strong.
i know they'll soon discover that i don't belong.

so i tuck it all away, like everything's okay.
if i make them all believe it, maybe i'll believe it too.
so with a painted grin, i play the part again;
so everyone will see me the way that i see them.

are we happy plastic people, under shiny plastic steeples?
with walls around our weakness and smiles to hide our pain.
but if the invitation's open to every heart that has been broken,
maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade.

is there anyone who's been there? are there any hands to raise?
or am i the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?

cause the performance is convincing and we know every line by heart.
only when no one is watching can we really fall apart.

but would it set me free? if i dared to let you see.
the truth behind the person that you imagine me to be.

so would your arms be open or would you walk away?
or would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay.

OH! welcome my new addition to the family! a humbuckle squier telecaster!! got it like for 440 though i still feel that the shop scammed me for $40. its real nice man haha but i aint thought of a name for it yet though. i would post pics of it up some other time.

oh and i finally finished prison break, all the way till season 3. and well, let's just say i hope season 4 comes out soon enough.

Dad (to sis): "can i send u for singing classes?"

Dad (to mom): "notice your daughter sings the same way as you."

Mom:"you sleep in the hall tonight."

just watched ''across the universe" and its REALLY REALLY NICE. esp if you love literature and are a fan of the beatles. its like they use beatles songs to write out the plot with literature scriptwriting and stuff. haha fine no spoilers here. but SERIOUSLY, THERE'S SELDOM A MOVIE I WOULD WATCH TWICE. but i would gladly watch this all over again.

oh yeah btw last year's easter animation is finally out! thanks alot steven! haha you certainly have used your talents greatly in extending God's Kingdom is that first major step! so guys, get those tissues ready and here goes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mckYML9O8Ws&eurl

i realised i aint posted any like new year resolutions or like closure to 2007 or something. oh well, here goes?

interesting year isnt it? 2007. actually i would rather like to see things as an entire 2006 and 2007. i still remember shirley telling us 2006 wasnt going to be an easy year at some dec service in 2006 and all, and how we didnt really hit home for the passion outreach thingy in early 2006. well the past two years have certainly been a ride. i've seen so many things about other people and most importantly of myself that i neva knew. i seen how God worked so miraculously in my life i was brought close to tears a good couple of times. had my highest of highs and lowest of lows. im really really grateful for how God never failed to made Himself known to be, be it directly or through encouragement from random people.

i wont ever forget those big decisions i had to make, forgoing a better school, council, and last but not least soccer. you know im really glad i went through all that, distasteful certainly, but very necessary. im also glad i been through a really tough and low period in my life sometime this year, where everything was basically falling apart. i thank God for how He prompted two very important people in my life to talk to me all so timely that day. you know what, im seriously convinced that the King of kings and the Lord of lords do love someone as insignificant as me yeah. i know full well the past two years werent an easy one for me, all the mistakes made and all.

i duno. jc life is well, jc life. i do definitely miss the school and all. teachers and friends most importantly. all the ponning of lectures/tutorials/school, "composing" the birthday song for miss ho, tears and joy and all. haha well, God this year 2008, prepare me for something greater. something that is to come.

okay i shall confront my laziness and blog about my day, haha okay lah wadeva. u know i think God has this really weird predictable sense of humor, in testing/continually testing you in areas where u just dont want to confront or is going through. haha well as for me i was faced with whether i should accompany my mom to batam, or she would be going alone with her other not so close friend, or whether i should join the CG down at sajc pioneering. to be honest i choose the latter, but then JUST WHEN I DECIDED my mom called me to confirm if i was going down to batam with her today. and when i tried to tell her nope 3 times, she kinda really strongly insisted that i accompany her lah. oh well so being a real nice and faithful boy i... choose the former! haha okay i think its really an issue of balancing family and ministry and making wise choices that are kingdom-minded. doesnt mean that always choosing ministry above all else is kingdom-minded or wise yeah, i guess its kinda delicate issue that depends on situation to situation. i remember really asking myself, WWJD(what would Jesus do)? haha i have no idea really. oh well.

slept over at matt's place so had to like drag myself outta bed caused we watched this really boring thriller show called "vacancy" and talked and slept ard 4.30am. so yeah went home real early to get changed on my expenditure/adventure(okay fine still sounds boring) to batam. oh i saw my OGL cheryl on the way home too, but she didnt see me and i was too lazy to sms her hi so oh well.

okay here's the part you dont wanna miss. we went to bishan mrt to take a train down to harbourfront to catch the ferry, so we took the escalator down to bishan mrt platform. THEN, at the end of the escalator.. i saw.. PETER. yes that same gay PETER who harrassed me some time ago if u still remember. wah this time there was no way i could avoid him, i was like watching him stare at me with those intimidating eyes just 1m away from me, yes that close.. i froze in my tracks, then i had to tear my eyes away and told my mom to head over to the other side. then she immediately asked me "why, the gay guy issit?" haha gosh i think my mom has the gift of discernment or something, she aint even met him before lah. then i said yeah, and she replied that she could tell from one glance at him. haha okay i was really horrified then my mom went "dont be afraid." haha WAH I TELL YOU, it felt weird hearing your mom say that to you, esp if you're a guy, at 18 yrs old. haha like if those words had to be spoken between the both of us shouldnt i be the one who says it!! but okay.. those words felt oddly familiar.

oh and my mom told me, rather admitted that, she was really attracted to my dad in the past cause he played the piano really well. HAHA! See guys!! told you right, piano makes guys cool and girls mysterious and classy! and so together with him playing the sax too my mom couldnt resist the charm of my dad(or his music rather). okay then i told my mom i wanted to pick up the piano once again and she was like, "go ahead." haha okay i shall i guess.

hello there. well merry Christmas, happy boxing day and a very happy new year.

yeah hadnt been posting much cause i kinda want to figure out whats going on before i say anything. so yeah. still soaking in the Christmas atmosphere and all. you know i dont know what to say about the year 2007. cant say i actually enjoyed or like it, but then again if i could choose i would rather have gone through this whole year once again. making decisions that should have been made, and not making those that shouldn't have been made. and i have to say im really missing home these days. been making a deliberate effort to spend more time with my family, like giving a miss to certain events just to, i duno, be there at home. didnt go the unit Christmas countdown, though my family didnt have anything planned. ah well i guess i must say they were really amazed to see me at home, and my mom commented that she was glad that i was at home with the family upon the turn of Christmas. made me feel quite bad i guess, like perhaps sometimes i really do get caught up with ministry and friends and all and neglect my family or their wishes. oh well now i know, now i really wanna strike a balance.

you know they say that music opens a window to your soul. how wonderfully said isnt it? found some real cool music lately. and ah yes i think bell x1 is a really good indie band.. haha fine let's not get started.

ah new year resolutions. dont really wanna do them.. yet. this new year is gonna be real different i guess, and alot more understanding about myself. so yeah here's to you. may this coming year be one that God grows you, in spirit and in truth.

Happy New Year my friend.