sentimental geek, shuttup and go to sleep.

hello people. i guess its nearing Christmas once again, and everything's just so.. Christmassy. yeah just like Christmas isnt it?

been talking to various people in my life, about well, life itself. and my frequent dinner/supper trips to prata house isnt doing my health any good. i had better recover soon yeah. and God reminded me how uniquely and individually He created each and every one of us. special in our own way. and i thank God for that, i thank God that i am who i am. i like who i am, i mean, dont you?

and im seriously in love with damien rice and how he writes his songs. each one tailored to describe emotions that i just cant seem to put it in words. its fabulously amazing. ah its as though you know exactly how he feels with each word he sings, every single emotion. from joy, to emptiness, to sorrow to anguish, dismal and despair, trepidation, apprehension, solace, remorse, poignance, perturbation, and even loneliness.. absolutely brillance. its seriously hard to find a song writer that you can seem to relate to through his or her songs so powerfully. you know what, go get his songs and u get what i mean.

and yeah, let me go on ranting a while more. i think he makes such a PERFECT match in vocals and in harmony with lisa hannigan. she carries the gentleness and delicate, while damien brings about the torment and anguish in his voice. together exquisitely powerful and yet subtle. ah but too bad they had to split.

oh well. Christmas Christmas. oh.. the all so many Christmas cards to write.
hey you, Merry Christmas!

'Cause every once in a while
You think about if you're gonna get yourself together
You should be happy just to be alive
And just because you just don't feel like comin' home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive

Take control
Don't be afraid of me

- Move On by Jet. such a lovely lovely song..

back from acts 29(x29) church camp! and u might be wondering why acts 29 and u would try to find that book, haha it isnt there. acts ends at chapter 28. thus, the concept of x29 is that it is our own chapter! writtened and lived out by ourselves. yup.

i have to say that the two days where my mom and sis werent at home wasnt an easy one. as in, stuff happened in the family. and i recall praying till 3am the night before church camp. well yeah.

out of the 3 camp objectives i set for myself, i guess God more or less help me met all 3 of them. of which the first was really starting to bother me, but by the grace of God the whole message on the first day of camp was targeted at that directly. reasons for living a normal Christian life. i recall having to answer one of my sajc friends i met at bishan mrt the day before camp too, when he asked me where i was going and all. i told him i had some church rehearsal thingy, and then he posed the question that had confronted me all too many times, "hmm.. how come your church has so much commitments?" as in i didnt want to throw out a cliche any longer like, "oh its because i want to serve God." and stuff. sure all those things are true, but do we really convince not just our heads, but our hearts with that? are we really convicted of why we serve, or rather lead a normal christian life?

and i love how shirley puts it across that the bible has an entirely different definition of a normal Christian life.

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." - Mark 8:34

that's the 3 qualifications that Jesus mentioned to live a Christian life. whoever said that just going to church and cellgroup once a week would be the norm for a Christian life? ah i duno bout you, but it spoke depts for me.

yup. i know at least for me i came to this camp with lots of mixed feelings. i told God that im not going to step out of this camp and be called into whatever ministry just because i am told to, or just because that's where the church has placed me or what nots. it's not that i aint being submissive or obedient, i want to serve God for who He truly is, with the sole reason that He is worthy from the depts of my heart, and not just riding off the leader's or someone else's fire for God as the source of motivation. God deserves so much more than me being good-spirited, God deserves my entire being, and that includes my own passion and conviction, all of it. God is not looking for good people, God is looking for right people!

and then there were reservations, reservations on the dreams that i had for myself in God, at least for next coming months. i remember jontay asking me if i felt disappointed after all that has happened over the past 3 years i have been in this jc ministry. well obviously i do, if i dont there has to be some issues with me man lol. to be honest i dont see where God is preparing me for for the past three years yet. but somewhere somehow lah alright.

yup had a real long talk with jon my sheep. ah jon i dont know if u would ever read this(he's in tekong now btw), but do remember what i told you! ah i can't stress it enough, how important it is for God to be that constant in our lives. yup not just as part of our lives, but the center of our whole lives. even the closest of friends may falter, and even like what pastor simon eng said, sometimes what we believe in may even come into contradiction with what is happening around our lives, even in church. and how our faith in God shouldnt be based on theological knowledge alone, but on experiencing God Himself.

ah and some other stuff i shant talk about here. above all, im just so grateful that im a child of God!

yup and we're gonna do pioneering work next year into sajc. which means i would have to enter the school lots of times again and most probably be hanging ard potong pasir area. God, this is the revival generation yeah!


"Anything that cools my love for Christ is the world." - John Wesley.

hello. been such a rush week. had word for life classes on Monday, then went for JC service prac at daisy rock, which to my horror, i discovered that the neck pickup of the lespaul rayson lent me wasn't working.. gosh.

met up with jontay on tuesday and did envisioning and reading the book of acts. then went to meet kahfai, amanda and charlene. haha basically just to hang ard i guess.

then i went down for WFL classes again on wed then rushed home and got dressed and changed for prom. okay lah, it wasnt as boring as i thought it would be. haha quite fun in fact. and i seriously think our sch's real rich. haha 80GB ipod video, dvd players, some real good camera, and PS3 as lucky draw prizes!? haha wow. okay lah i won some $40 nike voucher, essentially making my prom ticket only worth $30!

didnt go to wadeva post-prom party there was, but went out with the CG guys to watch hitman.

on then we had our first JC service on thursday! and trust me, playing the e guit for service is much much scarier than singing. hmm familiarity breeds contempt? my hands were all sweaty from playing lah. sheesh scary stuff. oh well, a first for us all isnt it! from glory to glory eh.

yup had wfl today again. the final part of the lesson on the fruit of the spirit.

anyway, mom and sis left for Shenzhen China in the afternoon. haha and my sis called to say bye. aww alright go all jealous now.

oh yeah i got back from bangkok like on thursday night at ard 11.45pm. by the time i reached home it was alreay like close to 1.30am and stuff. oh well i must say i did enjoy myself quite abit, haha more than i obviously had expected to. like how i shopped so much, so so much that it was more than i ever did in my entire life. haha everything was like really really really cheap i guess. they had like threadless Ts substitutes that looked exactly like threadless itself just that it cost $6 instead of $30-$40. HAHA AWESOME RIGHT! i bought like lots of Ts, jumpers, a new pair of converse, bags, blah blah blah. got a few of my prom stuff too. sheesh spend close to $200 in total i think. ah okay okay.

tried to find hope bangkok but i kinda gave up when my mom told me that bangkok is like much much bigger than singapore. haha okay fine, i was only roaming ard a few streets lah. i must say it was kinda nice in a way to take a break from everything. like catch up with myself and my family. had time to read up on the book that i've been reading like every since. and yeah, i must say all in all im grateful that i went lah. like you know at least i see things in my family improving. relationships improving. haha and i conclude that my sister being cute as she is, can be SUPER SUPER IRRITATING when she's you know, yeah. ah i guess all kids are like that?

haha and God was like prompting me to do something on my way on the plane. haha and well fine, im glad i obeyed. it seemed odd and weird i guess, but haha im very very glad i obeyed. God may i be moulded in Your image!

and i finally sang on stage today, after like God knows how long. ah feels weird lah, haha weird in that nostalgic way. oh and i kinda gave the post A level celebration thingy a miss today. it's my mom's birthday. yup, went to Han's as a family for dinner. coolness!

and the next two weeks are gonna be SO busy. every single day, till 12 dec..