you know one of the reasons why i am not really dying to blog bout camp is because i know words cant express and would undermine how awesome camp was. just like we said, much was expected, and much was given. i think on the whole God moved big time in the camp, so much more than i could ever have imagined.

yeah was kinda busy this camp too lah, with rehearsals the day before camp and having to wake up early every morning for pracs and rehearsals. the theme of the camp was First Frontier: An Emerging Seed Generation. so the teachings were about being a seed in the schools/camps we are in, which is alongside the CG08 plan. to have a Christian community of at least 7 non-graduating people in every school/camp by the end of dec 08. it can and it shall be done!!

oh yeah this was the first camp with my new cg too. SAJC CG. okay lah its supposed to be called JCNEA2, but i think SAJC CG sounds cooler, or SACG. interesting bunch of people lah, with different personalities, but all share the ultra-lame side.

God spoke to me in a few areas of my life, esp on the second night. the area of disobedience. you know when pastor jeff was preaching he said 'partial obedience is no obedience at all.' it kinda hit me hard as partial obedience is infact disobedience. it just shows that we dont trust fully in God's character to want the best for our lives, that we dont trust what he said in jeremiah 29:11. and i guess sometimes when we decide to obey God, our hearts dont quite fully agree and submit to Him isnt it? im guilty of that. 99% is not whole-hearted. sometimes i do have my doubts, i question His will in certain areas of my life. and even sometimes as i do His work im not fully trusting His plans in my heart and try to accomplish it in my own human effort.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1

and i know i need to learn to trust God more. less of me and more of Him. i know that at times i look at myself and tell myself that i need to grow in this area and in that area, but i just simply forget whose image i should be reflecting. not that of mine but that of Jesus. well i repented yeah i did. i felt kinda guilty i guess, but eh anyhow God's words isnt to bring guilt but to build us up. i was just kinda mad at myself on why didnt i see things earlier. it seems like for far too long i've forgot the joy in serving God, just too concerned about getting things done, solving this and that. what difference is it then from the doing things in the world? serving God IS a priviledge, and i neva once regret it. why out of thousands of people in your school, God choose YOU, specifically YOU, to be the one to make that difference, to be the one to bring about a spiritual awakening in the school. i think many can identify with what im saying lah. oh well.

wah and when pastor jeff got all the fairfield methodist people to get up and go on stage in their pe shirt, wah i was just... WAHH!!!! it is really one thing to hear about what a big difference esp in synergy a big Christian community can make and another to see it for yourself. i think that move really shocked the whole youth church. imagine that's sajc!! wah gosh.

and im really encouraged by people like weekeong and edward, who intially totally didnt want to go for camp. spend so much time talking to them, persuading them, assuring them that its gonna be awesome, and even telling them we would refund them the money if they regretted it. haha and when they went, i saw how edward had his spiritual eyes open, going up to share testimony about how God made a way for him to come for camp and service infront of the whole newly formed jc group. and wah for weekeong, how God touched him in service and seeing him just breaking out in tears in awe of the greatness of God and worshipping on his knees.. wah i tell you, how can God not be real!!!! seriously all of us would be total fools spending $120 and 4 days 3 nights of our lives at singapore sports school if God isnt real.

much was expected much was received.

you know i feel very convicted about getting the next generation of saints and completeing CG08 and stuff. very i must say. but at the same time, i feel afraid. im afraid i just aint got what it takes to do it. it's like all this time im in jc ministry its finally the phase where outreaching is the most urgent, yet perhaps the most challenging. its when you start to ask yourself why you are serving God at this point in time when all your friends are mugging their butts off. why you are trying to get to know as many j1s as possible when your friends are getting to know all those science molecules. its really a test of maturity, with lots of decision making. and seriously from the current state of things, it really seems like its almost an impossible task. 16 saints by end july. im saying this because when it finally comes to pass you will know that it is not by our might but by God's will that it came to pass.

"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." " Mark 10:27

i re-evaluated quite alot this camp. on the realness of God in my life, in my friend's lives, in the world. am i really giving my whole life to God? i dont want to be holding back certain areas of my life, its just nonsensical. if God is real as i found Him out to be, there is no reason why i should be keeping certain areas of my life from Him.

and as i was worshipping God on one of the nights i saw a vision of sajc, as in the familiar faces around the cafe and stuff. i saw how desperate their souls were, and sad to say how lost they are. people wanting to fulfil that emptiness in the hearts, hiding and pushing away all that in a false sense of self-confidence and assurance that there's value in what they pursue. oh please those are my friends for goodness sake! i duno maybe i just couldnt contain all that God was feeling, and i just kept weeping and crying. im not gonna give up inviting my friends to church, to them knowing God because God wouldn't have given up on them, and most importantly because God didnt give up on me.

ay you know i just wished that this CG08 thing happened earlier. like wah. i duno lah i bet u know how i feel those who were at the camp.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

it couldn't come at a better timing..