and my soul sings oh Lord,
for i see Your face again.

it is well with my soul..

and then i took the guitar to my sis's room and played and sang her song.

then as i was staring straight at her trying so hard to keep a straight face, and not laugh, i saw her smile and did the most adorable thing ever.

she put her hand over her chest and said, "eh i down here feel very weird." then giggled and turned over.

i saw her blush!!

haha gosh i love my sis.

today's a real sucky day.

no, i dont want to start feeling like im suppose to apologise to you. cause you sincerely dont care do you? why cant u just stop insulting and think, and maybe it might just smack you in the face that you could be wrong this once. maybe you did realise that u arent so great after all. maybe you did realise that you could be less mean with your words. and just maybe u did find the courage to try to be more reasonable.

and dont come accusing me just cause u need someone to find to push the blame to. look at the plank of wood in your eye.

you know you seriously need to start learning how to appreciate others or at least spare a though about them.

and okay, i guess you never needed to care anyway.

well congrats you win this time, cause what you said managed to hurt me.

well its okay. i guess things would be just fine.

ay so sorry people that i left this site to rot!! haha been real busy with stuff lah, and no mood to blog at all i guess.

okay well block tests are all over. like finally. i kinda totally flunk my math and econs lah. and the whole time during bio 'rockin robin' was playing in my head. haha utter irritation.

and when block tests is finally all over. there isnt time to jam!!

ay okay. easter is coming guys. its time to pick up the pace.

At a stoplight in the middle of the night,

Stuck in first and I wonder if I should stay.

it happened again.

yes im pissed at myself that it did. you know the other day i even went to the toilet to pray and told myself NOT to get pissed. NOT. N-O-T. ahh dang! tell me what to be feeling next time okay.

or perhaps you could try to assure me and knock those irrational thoughts from my head. i am real tired of trying to understand, stuff. can i just give up on trying to set things right for once.

you know what i think i need a break.

and all that didnt help when you not know your work, at all. i literally spend the whole 1.5 hrs of chem tutorial in the lab staring at the clock and stoning. i need to buy that chem tys so desperately but apparently i dont think its selling anymore. ay wadeva lah.

oh so now i get to say,

come on shawn, who doesnt have problems?

but its okay lah right. cause its just one of those days.

its such an eventful day today. its like i feel part of something extraordinary. was hoping that i could somehow finish studying for bio spa, then go for GP debate and think of something to crap on the spot to pass the judgement of casey leong and mr foo. then during the break before Bio prac, it all happened..

you know i sincerely thought it was one of the guys who were kicking the table, then i looked down to see no one kicking. but the table was moving in a very odd way, like in a perfect sway. so i looked over at the other table and wanted to like scold sophie for kicking the table. lol then i realised that everyone's table in the cafe got 'kicked'. then the teachers were like running ard looking up and down. that's when we realised that the whole school was kind of swaying.

then news spread that the whole science building was being evacuated, then we saw some teacher running into the cafe and asking us if we felt the tremor. we said yes and were told to abandon our dishes and assemble at the track. u know i was half trying to convince myself that this was it. that this was the beginning of the end times tribulations and stuff(okay very largely due to the fact that i didnt wanna go for spa and debate..). okay lah basically it wasnt it sadly. A levels still comes our way. okay all hope was dashed about spa being canceled when the principal sent us back to class because she couldnt confirm anything from the revelant authorities.

so spa continued as usual. eh i didnt see that smaller micro-pipette tip!! and mrs lee was like right beside me with the mark sheet watching me trying to stuff the big micro-pipette tip onto the wrong size micro-pipette.. ah how dumb can i get man. but okay fine. then i heard this loud piercing screech, which i duno why like the whole class didnt hear. haha apparently kaiwen heard it too from where he was. okay nvm irrelevant. then i felt my head starting to spin, and the world sway again. i looked up and see like everyone still concentrating so i concluded it must be me. gosh i thought i was gonna faint again lah. so i shock my head real hard and looked up again. that's when i heard mr chan ask if we felt that, followed by the evacuation of the whole class. SO THUS, we officially have like 8 mins and 32 seconds of bio spa left, which i believe we would carry out another day.

and because of that, we had like half day off.. yeah okay well yeah.

sleepy.. i am so sleepy.

and can u believe who i met today, AGAIN for the 4TH TIME!! that gay guy i met at bishan. yes that PETER guy!! AGAIN LAH! i just couldnt believe it. seriously, he is starting to freak me out. AND HE STILL RECOGNISES ME.. okay he was at that same somerset mrt place, giving out phamplets. i didnt see him at first lah. just wanting to make my way back to meet the guys. then u know how u just focus on the phamplet and try to be nice to take it from them, help them clear their stuff. but i was too not in the mood to grab anything so i just like hand gestured no.. then from the corner of my eye i saw that all so terrifying face(eh seriously, he is starting to scare the daylights out of me..). i saw his eyes follow me. and then it happened..

he shouted real loudly "HI." at me. well obviously i just ignored him again lah, dont entertain him is the best way i guess. then i think that kinda pissed him off. so he shouted real loudly at me again, "DAO." okay incase you are real civilised and aint know what that means, i believe it means ignore or something. i mean like dude, seriously lah. ah why do i always bump into him, besides the fact that he lives in bishan too and works in somerset where i attend church. oh well.

guess who showed up at church today!? HONG FEI!! lol goodness. one of the last persons i expect lah. he's one of the peeps i used to play soccer with almost everyday when i was back in sec 3. only knew him through the many hrs on the pitch. just know him as a person from this sec 2N class(then..) i guess. he's changed quite abit i must say. no longer that joker kid i knew, or maybe he's just shy. haha well i guess to him i changed alot too. i guess he never would he expected to see me in church, and i mean never. i felt so touched when i talked to him that he actually asked me how i find church. i told him it was real fun and all, and how it kinda changed my life. God i just pray that, perhaps one day i could play soccer with him in some field in heaven or something. haha. amen.

and yes, like seriously. you know when u sit down and start to analyse, all the pieces fall into place. everything wouldn't rhyme if God isnt in the picture(lol okay this sounds so westlife style.). like how the church do make sense in laying out some certain guidelines for us to obey and stuff. and how it indeed is ultimately beneficial for our spiritual life, and not just there to limit our lives or something.

ay like seriously, JESUS WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK!? this world's just so, dead.

all my delight is in You Lord. all of my hope, all of my strength.

and please Lord: mind over heart. Your word over my heart and mind. i wanna do what please You, what You want me to. for i know there cant be any other wiser alternative.

i guess it all makes sense now..



never been so uncertainly sure.