realised i've been leaving this page alone for so many days already. yeah in case u dont know already, my promos start in 2 days time. and with a cry of desperateness, i totally prayed with every ounce of conviction i could master at prayermeet earlier today, for God to make me feel stressed, for God to impress upon me this burden to study! its like i've been putting off my studying, and sub-conciously telling myself there's still time left. God, please come and shake me awake!! 2 days to study everything is a lack of time. sheesh.

AND i had no idea that my dad was in bangkok, thailand these past few days till my mom told me 2 nights ago. honestly i feel real bad not even noticing my dad's absence. sometimes i wonder whether or not i do actually care about my parents, especially my dad. it's not just saying it. i mean it. its like we are able to live totally separated lives despite being in the same family.

and i just found out today too that i would very much probably have met rayson way back when i was a K2 kid. we were talking bout music and stuff as we left his house after watching dream theater, when we realised that we took piano classes as kids at the same place! Yahama at Hougang, the one near the NTUC. and how we would perhaps had even known each other! i asked him if he recalled a kid who was always late for classes (cause i did cry and not want to go as i totally hated it). haha and we realised that we both hated the piano lessons, but were forced by our parents into it. so at the end of the day, i quit at grade 2 after my mom gave up on sending me there, while rayson being submissive to his parents continued to grade 8. ah regret!

been thinking of stuff lately. aiyah like who doesnt think. i wondered what would make a song impactful, what brings a song close to people's hearts. what makes an honest song. and u know what? typing all these make me remember the book of Psalm in the bible. a honest book yeah? i guess its really in the words, in the lyrics. at least it seems that way to me. maybe that's why dashboard confessional, jimmy eat world, switchfoot, lifehouse, etc. appeals so much to me. haha not doing any advertising here though. and reuben morgan songs too! waiting here totally describes how i feel lah.


"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." - Psalm 139:23-24


Let me go home.