why. must things be this way. okay. i was hoping i could evade this test from God. i was secretly hoping that the coach would just drop me and not take me, then i wont have to choose. i wont have to choose between soccer which i love, and ministry and studies. but what test would this be then?

so guess what? the coach himself came an initiated the conversation at the end of the training. he asked me directly whether i can cope with soccer and church and studies. you know like out of the blue. you see how this all works out. okay kinda told him exactly how i felt, which is i am not coping well with the long training sessions, church ministry and my studies. i told him im unable to more than 3 days a week for soccer. he told me that its not possible. i told him i have to drop soccer then.

ah crap lah.

the worst thing he could say was, "if u wanna join us for trainings u can give me a call and let me know. the door is always open." ah man.




no regrets.

oh gosh i cant help it. i duno bout you but im so so so anxious and full of expectancy for this saturday's harvest. Feel the trembles of the gates of heaven. Hear the sound of revival. Witness salvation through faith. gosh it's just so, SO joyful to look forward to. come send us Your waves of love and grace. haha we're all ready.


anyway, Project work is a real bore and its due tml.








Hey God, i wanna catch Your wave.

i met the Minister of Defence.

i shook the hand and had tea with the Minister of Transport, and 2nd Minister of Foreign Affairs.

i had lunch with this other Minister ??? who seems to be real interested in our education system. so Minister of Education i guess.






and i just cant recognise them..





quote of the day:

that Minister was asking about S papers to the RJC guy infront of me. he went

"oh we dont have S papers but H3s. But its like, everyones taking a H3 these days so there's nothing special to it."


then directed the question to me.

"oh. in my school things are slightly different. H3s are uncommon.."





speechless.

played a match at mjc yesterday. tied after 90 mins at 2 all. then went down to catch pirates of the caribbean: Dead's Man Chest with s14. finally arrived home at 11.30pm and low and behold, had my first meal of the day. sheesh lah terrible time management.

and then, i couldn't sleep the WHOLE night. like i cant believe it man. i knew i had to get the rest, and i was super tired from the match and all. but i just couldnt fall asleep!! i spend the whole first two hours thinking bout the show, and captain jack sparrow kept appearing in my mind, then spend time trying to figure out who were bootstrap turner and bill turner. then the next 4 hrs lying and tossing in bed. wad rubbish lah, i just cant fall asleep.

i didnt intend to cut off the skin of my blister on ths heel of my left feet, but apparently the aircon dried up the skin, and caused it to curl upwards. so had to cut it off or else i cant even walk lah. and my shoe was screwed, together with my blister, wah it sucked lah.

was real sleepy in sch. guess the effect of lack of sleep really took place, which gave me this mild flu and i guess a slight fever.

ah soccer training today is insane okay. all in all, togther with pe, i ran a record breaking..

10.4km +++

timed okay, not a stroll or something, and had ball work too and stuff. dead tired man. think after today i guess im really considering whether or not to remain in soccer, with the high commitments even at this point in time, 9 months away from tournament. and since too that the coach said(yes again..) that the team aint finalised. ah same old story. think it would officially be from next week onwards. so i have like a couple of days to really think through about this man. need to invest more time into my guys, into my cg, into my ministry. look at my studies! time time time!!

don't stop looking you're one step closer.
don't stop searching, its not over.

talked to Gideon about joining soccer. AND im faced with yet another another ANOTHER very tough decision to make. gosh man do these big decisions ever stop appearing. first it was about rising to be a CL. then decising on what would be the wiser choice of JC for the PAE for ministry sake. AJ or SAJC. And then the very tough decision on whether or not to remain in SAJC for ministry sake, or to follow my parents wishes. Then came the major decision on whether or not to pull out of council to serve effectively as a CL, which left many teachers having a different opinion of me. and then now.. the decision on whether or not to remain in soccer. sheesh lah.

i just learnt recently, that there's soccer practice 3 times a week and matches on saturday. WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS EARLIER!!! this is so sad cause i have church and meetings every saturday too. and there isnt a chance im gonna miss service and meeting my guys every week. oh man. and i hope soccer doesnt clash with CG activites too, and not to mention leave me no more time for studies. ah this sucks lah. i hate making such big decisions. i hate knowing i have to sacrifice something for something else.

and the thing is, i always wanted to play soccer for my school. back in the good old days.

now you see, definitely if soccer compromises serving God its a definite no to soccer yeah. surely that would be my answer. it did just be too irresponsible of me to miss service, meetings, and worse of all, to miss meeting my guys every saturday just cause of soccer. ah ah ah!! God give me 48 hours a day man.

Gideon asked me whether i ever thought of why God placed so many of such big decisions in my life. Perhaps God wants me to learn to make my own decisions and take ownership and know why i choose to do certain things. Perhaps it's because i aint grapsed this whole lesson fully yet.

then Gideon told me what situation he saw me being placed in with his gift of knowledge sometime in the near future. then would it be so that God is preparing me for it?

AH! just let me rest.



went over to kaiwen's house with the intention to jam. but ended up composing our very own worship song. way cool man. wrote the whole song, song structure, lyrics, melody, and all ourselves. one day when we perfect it we would like let u guys hear or something haha.

sick sick sick. one of the most physically exhausting weeks of my life. had like soccer training everyday from tuesday till today, friday. and church ministry to attend to after that. i think i didnt watch my diet well too and spend to whole thursday morning from 3.45am to 4.45am vomitting. and then went on to sch yesterday running to the toilet, vomitting 6 times. PROBLEM IS, there's no vomit. i guess cause i didnt eat anything the whole day till after training. its like there this feeling of having a big bubble in your stomach and u wanna vomit it out but u cant, and u just doesnt go away. ah crap lah.

and then we had endurance run yesterday. first we had a warm up. 12 rounds(4.8km).. WHAT!!! whoever runs crosscountry as warm up! then had ball country, but i didnt bring my streetsoccer shoes so i had to do it barefooted, since running shoes is impractical for ball control. then a warm down(yes not cool down) of.. yes u guessed it! another 12 rounds!!

now imagine doing that while u feel like puking. didnt manage to do 24 rounds, did only 14. yeah oh man.

finally the weekends.

and so the last papers of our common tests are finally tml. sheesh man. the drag is killing me.

and italy won france at world cup finals 2006 earlier on in the day. 1-1, then 5-3 on penalties.
thanks zidane. you really made my day.

then there was chinese GCE A levels oral exam this afternoon at 2pm. it didnt go well lah. i couldnt read half the passage and the 5 mins preparation time was obviously too little. and when it was my turn to enter the room, i was like made to wait while the woman inviligator was telling the other guy how she was late and had 7 missed calls. "7 miss calls leh!!" oh and how i got so badly stuck along the way of the passage i took like 8mins to complete it.

and we talked about whether i was in favour of school starting at 7am. i said no cause i dont really sleep early. and then i realised that i kinda died when she ask me why i had to sleep so late. and i said cause i go out with friends and reach home late, and rush my work so dont have enough sleep. then she asked if i would be in favour of sch starting a hour later, and it ended a hour later too. i said i would be fine with that as i would spend less time going out and more time with my family. and she corrected my mindset by saying that, "actually u can control your time spend outside by yourself."

haha okay well the classic case was the question which went "but if starting sch late would mean u would have to squeeze among those primary school kids who are going to sch too, would you mind?" i laughed and told her that question is irrelevant to me as my mom fetches me to school.

and then i met this gay guy who approached me at junction 8 while i was on my way to BCC. he was wearing this pink shirt which is so undersized, and this light blue pants that was so tiny on him, and he had this broken wrist. he kept walking to cut my path and keep raising his eyebrows at me. GOSH MAN.

ay oh well. math is tml. and somehow i aint got my matrix, AP GP and Summation notes. and someone teach me how to use that graphic calculator!!


sheesh my sis draws her own Things to Bring list to her class excursion tml.

and so sumahdi is back from indonesia!!

met him at around 4 on friday and played a soccer match with andrew's friends. long long time since we last played together man. oh and andrew invited two saints to his team, matthew and bob. sumahdi's off form already lah. haha cant believe he's fairer than me. but we won nonetheless. 6-1.

i managed to get $250 from my dad. and that was after much of his talk and lecturing. like why in the world would i want to learn singing at this point of time, rather than to buy a electric guitar from swee lee's 60th anniversary sale, all items going off at 50%. he told me that he didnt want to pay for it, cause he just got me my acoustic. that's another story. the common agreement was that he pay half with me talking to my brother bout how he could improve his life. sheesh.

woke up at 7am and dragged myself to city hall mrt with kaiwen. met sherman, the lead guitarist from Redemption band from Bring It On, and went to swee lee together. we reached at around 8am. wah the queue there was LONG LONG LONG. i would say its like even longer than hello kitty sale by so much. met daniel leow, simon, jovin, and other WAM people there. apparently they been queuing since 12am..

the shop opened earlier than the expected 9am, and the queue was crawling at such a slow pace. one hour and it moved like a mere 1.5 metres. so we eventually thought it would be a good idea to get the WAM people to get it for us. okay so they got in the shop and i was staring at the white flying V i wanted from outside the shop. what took them so long to get it! everytime someone walked near it, my heart skipped a beat. imagine seeing so many of them pointing at it.. then simon came to the rescue and took the guitar off the shelf. haha awesome.

rayson came to join us when he finally woke up. met evan and his mom with his churchmate there. and eliana with her churchmate who looked really familiar, my neighbour, some saints, and some other familiar faces.

then they queued for over 1 and a half hours to pay.. it was already 12.30pm and service was starting!! so kaiwen and i cabbed to nexus while rayson stayed behind to wait for my guitar to pass it to me, cause the WAM people werent going for first service. i was so so sleepy during service, but yeah kept awake. service was great, the presence of God was refreshing. it was nice to hear the song Voice Of Hope after such a long time. God spoke lots to me. sheesh open your spiritual eyes people! cant u just see what's about to happen!

sherman msged me from counters that my guitar was safe and sound at the counter. and when service finally ended, i saw that beauty!!

1958 Korina White Flying-V. but it was in this plastic bag which was torn, cause i didnt have enough money to get the case!! totally broke and in debt. internet pricing was at $650. but at the shop it said $815, so after discount it was $407. ay i think its $650 but they didnt want to sell it at $325 so they jacked the price up to $815. oh well. im in debt okay. $55 in debt, and i aint got money for the whole month.

borrowed money from gerard and cabbed down to bras basah with kaiwen to get the guitar bag. many shops didnt have the bag as it was not a normal shape. finally walked to peninsular shopping center, Davis, and bought a bag. it was this huge explorer guitar bag. i gues im really regretting buying the bag now for $45 as it was not the right shape for the guitar and it cause the tuning heads to lean against the side of the bag!! sheesh lah, i was just so excited to leave the shop with the guitar in the bag. oh well.

had Unit-Core Team Meeting at 5.15pm and then Shirley's CareLeaders Meet at 7.15pm. was really really really exhausted and tired. the soccer totally drained me lah. together with all the late nights from world cup.

went to kaiwen's house after CLM to try out the new guitar, since he is the one with the amplifier and cable at the moment. the sound is great, and so is the guitar. just that it feels kinda uncomfortable sitting down and play. its just the shape lah. waited at the bus-stop with kaiwen for the last bus that neva came. so i called my mom to come get me.

was talking to kaiwen about what would happen when i get back home. apparently my mom disapproves of me getting a electric guitar, and my dad half approves. so yeah that's how he agreed to pay for half the price of the guitar. my mom apparently shouldnt know that i bought the guitar so i was expecting the scolding of my life when she picked me up.

as i was walking to the car, i told God to teach me patience and self-control, knowing what was about to happen. but all seemed well when she drove me home. i guess my dad told her lah. and the test came at home.

showed my parents the guitar and they seemed pleased at first. things were all going smoothly till my dad asked me, "where's the receipt?". and i didnt have the receipt, cause i got daniel leow to buy the guitar for me, remember? and my dad had told me to make sure i get a receipt since i forgot to the last time i bought my acoustic. so i told them that there isnt a need for the receipt since there is the sweelee sticker on the guitar, and it could thus be changed if there were any defects. then my dad started raising his voice at me, which hot-headed me (i repent..) retaliated by raising my voice too..

then my dad went, "OH! so now u raise your voice after u make use of me(he was refering to the money)." that made me super mad. it was really insensitive and cutting. sheesh lah, just forget it. its times like these, that really make me wonder. how much do i love my parents?

woke up rather late today and walked to BCC to study. then the song Voice Of Hope played on my mp3. yeah rub it in God, as in please. remind me of how i could have reacted in a much Godly way.

oh well.