and admist everything that was going on, admist what seemed like an impossible puzzle to solve, God made a way. i duno i kinda looks funny when i look back at it. i would say the whole thing started out on wednesday.

well actually i guess without knowing it, i had been pushing my body over the limit. as in spiritually and physically. i was practically too exhausted during the 1 and a half hour of chemistry tutorial on wednesday morning, i guess oweing largely to the MI3 i watched on tuesday from the 3rd row in front. totally used up whatever energy i had left man.

so i kinda dragged myself through the day, and had this compulsory council meeting which i was kinda reluctant to go cause i was really really really really tired. went anyway, and then the teacher said that some of the nominees werent able to make it to the meeting, but should be responsible and called her personally to tell her. makes sense. then she said if, and should if anyone of us decide to pull out at this point of time, the only responsible thing to do is to go apologise to the whole house and ask them not to vote for you. makes sense make sense. i think its the only fair thing to do lah. and i thought i would do just that.

went down with the other hose council nominees to home academy to watch the rugby finals vs RJC. and katie pass me the sa flag and then i realised why she did that. flag bearing is so not easy lah. i realised its an art to wave a flag. haha and against all odds, sajc won rjc in the finals, with a score of 15-10. i tell you its such a great experience for the whole school. and seeing the whole school rush to the pitch and singing the school song was an awesome sight to behold. talk about sch spirit man. was real tired, real exhausted after all the cheering and jumping and shouting and whatever.

then i went down to serangoon, for soccer with tahyuen kokwee davin and weilun. was having second thoughts too lah, but then guess it has been such a very long time since we all played streetsoccer together. played barefooted again cause i didnt have the proper shoes. so yeah. the 2 over hrs left both the sole of my feet completely ruined. it's like what old worn and torn tires would look like from overuse. i felt dead tired okay. and then, there's this champion's league final going on at 2.30am.

was too exhausted to wake up at 2.30am. i kinda told my mom that if i were to watch the match i would have to be late for sch tml cause i needed to catch up on my sleep, and being real nice she agreed. well looks like i was too tired to even wake up for the match and slept till real late. when i woke up it was around 11.15am. ah like almost 4 hrs late for school. i felt kinda light-headed when i woke up. like was hovering around. didnt feel good at all lah basically. but really really did want to go watch the semi finals of sajc vs vjc. so went to sch nonetheless.

okay here's the interesting part.

i took some bus with a whole lot of saints to ccab. then upon alighting, alvin from another class, fell into this drain outside the bus. he fell real real badly. he broke his right arm at an akward angle and tore his pants and all. its like he used his left hand to hold down on the wound, and beyond that, it looked like it was blood-deprived. it's like his whole arm downwards from that broken bone was a dead limb. and it was kinda gross lah. then katie called for the ambulance. okay.

when the ambulance finally came, i kinda felt that same very feeling i had last december after church camp. i felt like my blood isnt sendning any oxygen to my head. i knew what i had to do, i knew i needed to get oxygen to my head, so i tried bending down, but it didnt go away. it seemed all like a dream okay, and then i found myself putting my hand on yonghui for support, and the next thing i knew, i was subconciously trying to keep my balance. i recall myself stumbling from left to right, then i blacked-out. i could faintly here hooper shouting "he wasnt feeling so well in the morning." i felt some people helping me lie down on the floor. my mind was in a complete whirl, i couldn't focus on even my vision. and then felt the paramedics put the oxygen mask on me, another one pricking my right index finger to take my blood test, and another attaching some pulse reader thingy to my left index finger. oh now i recall, the paramedic asked me to hold onto the cotton to stop my bleeding from my finger lah. amazing i recall being able to comprehend that. then i heard some pe teacher on my right shouting "talk to me". i tried to get up but realised i cant, tried to move but to no avail. then they got me on the stretcher and brought me into the ambulance, and i heard katie shouting something like, "get well soon shawn" as i was brought into the ambulance. it's so strange u know, its really like those drama tv shows, like when u get pushed into the ambulance and all. yeah its my first time in an actual ambulance. and i didnt know that alvin was in the ambulance till the paramedics inside asked him for an identification card. like oh, the ambulance is for him not for me.

they brought me into the critical and emergency ward. and low and behold, do u know that u have to queue in the emergency ward? its like, wah! i kinda felt i as a waste of space and felt as thought i was well enough to go home. but its a whole new experience for me. i saw much in the emergency ward. i met his indian lady who was beaten up by her husband with a walking stick. an indian mental patient who looked at me and said, "if singapore were to have a tsunami, you all will die!" this boy who was sliding tackled by his friend with both legs(thats a foul) and broke his right leg into two. another boy who kinda had difficulty breathing for wadeva reason while playing soccer. and a WHOLE lot of beds of old and sick patients with some kinda of illness or whatsoever.

it felt strange, like we were arranged in orderly fashion in the middle of the emergency ward, waiting for avaliable rooms. i sort of briefly glanced around, i saw many faces staring back at me. maybe cause i was one of the youngest. but many of these patients were real olderly people, and i tell you they looked all alone. yes you would feel all alone admist all that chaos and confusion. but i felt it was kinda sad that you know some of these people would probably have like a couple of hours more to live, and then they sorta feel alone and stuff. it made me see how fragile life is. but i guess the doctors did a good job. english, chinese, dialect, tamil, all sorts of languages they spoke, to communicate and talk to the patients. it was a warm sight to see lah, the doctors putting a smile on their faces. sometimes all one needs is a listening ear am i not right? then i saw my mom running in, looking as though she was in real shock. haha im fine lah. just overworked i suppose.

the doctors did some test for me. blood test, some heart test, ECG they call it, hope i got that right. they sticked this electric impulses all around my chest, both hands and feet, and got my heartbeat down.then they brought me to the observation ward to keep me under observation.

then at the observation ward i met this old man who felt real uncomfortable and desperately called out for his wife. he then went to the dustbin there and pee-ed inside it. like gosh dude there's a toilet. oh well. oh and the doctor came and did a internal bleeding test on me. i aint gonna tell u how he did that cause its kinda gross. haha i asked him if he always do that and he smiled and said about 3-4 times a day. ah yuck man. okay then miss ho and my mom came to visit me. then minqi, abbas, david and kahfai. like ah dont make it so grand please! haha when i walked out i saw that almost half the class was there and i guess we were making quite abit of noice. real nice to see them. thank you guys, those who came down! miss lee, mr peh, was there at the hospital too. and i realised that charlene decided to keep this piece of bread for me. haha like i wasnt having a good appetite lah so yeah.

that night i decided to call the teacher in charge of sc to tell her that i might not be able to attend the council elections on friday(which is today). and she then asked me if i still wanna run for council. i thought i might as well tell her that i wanted to pull out. yup i apologised to her and all and she said she was rather annoyed. she then called back to tell me she isnt annoyed that i cant make it to sch today but annoyed that i want to pull out at this stage.

SO i decided it would be best, and responsible if i called her back and tell her why im having second doubts about student council. i told her everything, on how i felt that if i cant give my 100% then there's no point serving too. might as well let someone else who can take up the opportunity. i apologised and recognised that i knew that its unfair to the other council nominees at this point in time if i pulled out. told her to go ahead with, "shawn is on medical leave today. please do not vote for him because he is not prepared to take up the commitments of council."

and so, i guess this is how it all ends. learnt lots from this experience, and once again i learnt more things about myself. on how its about making important decision, but this time with more maturity and peace. guess God cleaned up the mess i made somehow. haha oh well.

all the best for council results on monday!