what's your valentine's day story? i've been hearing stuff like, guys playing the guitar for girls. roses, balloons, song dedication, outings, and stuff. wanna hear my valentine's day story!? haha say yes.

well i cancelled everything that i had on for today. yes i cancelled whatever plans that i had on valentine's day. not that im a kill joy person, not that i dont like valentine's day. it's just that i thought that maybe this year, i would like dedicate this special day i guess, to the first love of my life. i dedicated this day, to reflecting on the love of God, and to well, come back once again to the essence of loving Him.

i went down to nyjc this morning, partly coz i wanted to like build a stronger relationship with my sheep, and also to see how nyjc is really like. the school seems cosy, and was more of the neighbourhood type. im fine with it honestly, nice people and stuff. nice teachers that accepts even us crashers into their tutorials. i crash econs tutorial, GP tutorial, physics Lecture and i forgot what else. okay its not exactly crash, coz i told the teachers that im here to visit the sch and see how its like, which is true what.

went down to bugis after that and all, which wasnt that impt. well anyway, caught some rest at home and then went down to bishan S11 to meet my guys.

yes that's when it all started, the closeness and intimacy with God all began. walking through j8 i just saw couples after couples, students my age, students our age, holding hands, hugging and stuff. at times we wonder, the world seems to offer life at the best doesnt it? and how its all so tempting to get into a relationship as well. oh i felt so assured, i felt so secured and like focus, and in a weird way i started to like feel kinda happy. okay i guess the correct word is still assured. what greater love is there? what other alternative is there for such acceptance? such security? such assurance? i walked on through j8 with such anticipation, really, that you know we would like come together with my caregroup as one body of Christ, and have dinner together.

we walked over to bishan CC there after to worship God. this very valentine's day, 14 Feb 2005, i cancelled all our plans, we forego everything okay, i tell you a bunch of JC students giving up what would be probably the most impt day to many others, and dedicating it to God alone. it's just truely amazing.

went to coffee bean to sit a while, while martin went back to get his JAE stuff. luke then shared with rayson and i some of the problems he is currently facing, stumbling blocks and all. tried to help him out a bit, but he couldnt, and i guess didnt wanna share enough to permit us to do that. well but he did share with the leaders so i guess its fine.

the day did not end there! the love story hadnt come to an end, coz we can neva get tired of God's presence and touch amen? rayson, luke, martin and i went over to the playground near my place, where martin started off by sharing his very own life testimony. apparently this was one side of him i neva knew, we neva knew, no one ever knew. i thank God for his sincerity and openness, and its just so, obvious i guess on how much He has changed for God, and by God. honestly, you can neva imagine he was like that lah.

okay this is where we come to the climax of the love story. we had rayson lead us into worship, something which we hadnt had for like a very very long time. coz normally he was just the guitarist what. i tell you the presence of God was just overwhelming. at about 11.50pm, four JC guys were like squeezed in a playground, dwelling in the heart of worship. i was already blown away in the first worship song, was like in tears and all already. the others were just so ministered, you can sense it in the spirit. it felt so heartwarming, it felt so assuring. what i needed most wasnt gifts, nor was it flowers and stuff. i needed God. i needed God so badly that Valentine's night. i needed Him to guide me in my choices, i needed Him to provide a breakthrough in so many areas. i just cried out to Him, with desperate arms outstretched and hurried feet i ran to Him. Oh Lord, just guide me everyday like You are forever doing. tears of gratefulness, tears of thanksgiving, tears of wide-open wonder, tears of awe.

all in all we did 5 worship songs, and the worship lasted for 1 hr and 5 mins. yeah i got to admit it was rather long, in fact its the longest coporate worship i had in my entire life. what was over an hour seemed like 10 mins i guess. and when we opened our eyes we realised that well, we were back in the playground. haha God knows where our spirits were led to. ended at around 1 am, and martin came over to submit the JAE application, and left for home like 20 mins ago.

i gotta submit my JAE application by 4.30pm, just like every other JC1 student has. regardless of the choice, i just pray that it would be the best plan for my life. and that the decision is not based on where i want to go, but where i need to be. and that it would be not based on me, but on God's will.