its been almost 2 weeks and im like still sick. its starting to really irritate me. yeah anyway, its like the chinese new year mood and everythings getting red.

had like chinese new year celebrations in sch yesterday. seems like half the cohort convinently fell ill or whatever, and didnt go to sch. wanted to give it a miss too, but then erm, thought otherwise. had like church service at 3pm too so couldnt like do much, even if i were to go back to my old sch.

had like played chinese charade. yes chinese charade where we had to guess chinese 7-8 words long verses or wadeva u call them, and some other games. yeah okay its just so awfully strange to play chinese charade, esp after u like totally played the english one in church activities till ya know how the whole thing works and stuff.

had a new chem teacher for our chem tutorial. so we kinda made it a point to take the whole hour to do self introduction. haha. so we went around the class to give a self intro. so it came to my turn. wasnt planning to like share what i shared. tried to drag the intro for as long as i can.. but ya know what? as i shared i kinda shared about how i was and who i now am. yeah and i added like how i went back to church and was changed totally. i felt so burdened to.. i dont know. i wanted to add and direct it more to how God changes lives. but yeah, there were muslim students. well anyway, at least i managed to, in a way, share Christ. thank God for that.

you know what struck me most, was as i shared, i was really truely amazed at how God changed my life. yes i think emo plucking around i think we can all just tear and be in awe at the wonders of God. God seems so real to me now. i cant possibly deny His presence, definitely.

rushed down in time for service yesterday. all i know was that i am just so relieved to be in God's presence. sister jasmine poon shared with us from the Gospel, and i guess i responded to an altarcall which have seemed to appear and affect my life quite occassionally, especially of late. i responded to building closer ties with my family. yes i really mean it. i dont talk to my family much at all, i dont share with them about my life. i think there's quite a distinct handful of us who are like this eh? like we are with our family of God, so much more that we start to neglect our own family.

okay. couldnt go out today coz that would seriously make my parents, esp my mom, ground me from going out and much less serve God. been going out till like.. 10pm+ every other night. okay. something happened earlier between my mom and i, which seems to take downs on a even greater downhill ride. dont wanna share much, dont wanna dishonour them. screaming at me over tears she said, "the day you went to church is the day i lost you." you can almost imagine how she feels. i cant stand it okay, like as if serving God equals to like having fun like what the world offers. i guess this is the result when we dont live a hoslistically balanced life for God. they do feel that they had lost us to the church, and this would be alarming for them as we are their children. but as what Gideon says, this is the growing up stage for children, and if the children are not in church the chances of their going astray is even higher, since there is no channel of controlling and monitoring their children. well anyway, im asking God to take control of the circumstances and give me a breakthrough. give this family a breakthrough. andperhaps if not because of me serving God and the conflicts that arise from these, there wont be much of a chance for Christ's elements and message to come to my parents' life.

okay enough bout my life. happy chinese new year people! okay to be very honest, i kinda dont like chinese new year. not coz everything is in chinese lah. its just coz, its so red and outta the blue. no i mean outta the blue. and like all the visiting and stuff, meeting people who u meet only once a year. personally, its like if they mean something to you, u dont just meet them once a year during this specially allocated time do you. and oh how many families put on a false and fake appearance when they meet and talk to each other. have u ever heard of how your relatives have problems with this other relative, and how they meet and pretend to be happy to see each other? and its like alot of time is spent when people start to gamble. i mean, erm its just torturous to sit there for a few hours wasting time while the rest just gamble. ay it doesnt feel so fantastic does it.

oh well, i still love public holidays. yes happy chinese new year. may u get lots of red packets and have fun interacting with your relatives. yeah all the best people.

i want out!