eventually, i realised that the decision to go down to bishan cc, and bumping into Melcher and Jason, all was part of God's amazing plan. i used to wonder how it would have been like when God really spoke to us. and how it would be like to hear from God. would i just pass it off as a thought in my mind? Gideon once told me when i stayed over at his place, about how God let him have the moment of experiencing how God felt about us the actions of man. and how Gideon broke into tears uncontrollably while watching the finale of Survivor, and how he felt God's heartbeat. i thought it was truely amazing.

the four of us, Melcher, Jason, Martin and i were at bishan mac. they were trying to mug while erm i guess i was getting high again. it was around 8.30pm, when i heard from God. it's like out of the blue, God spoke to me. no, im not some kinda psycho kid, but its just because our God is a living God. i then understood the meaning of God revealing himself to us. well i was kinda stunned and was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. i didnt really know how to react. i felt like breaking down and sinking into my own world. and i guess i tried really hard to act normal, but i guessed it was not much of a success coz melcher smsed me after we parted that he noticed that i looked kinda sad, and Martin went to buy this awesome badge for me to cheer me up, love you martin for that. im fine yeah.

as i walked back home. i started tearing. yes, and whoever said that we could control our tears was obviously wrong. it was like wad He said really made so much sense and the reality really hit home, i just started crying uncontrollably. honestly, i didnt really know what was happening to me, and why exactly was i crying. thank God no one noticed. its a different feeling as when one worship God to tears. almost the same, but sorta different. i started breaking down into a cry, and i desperately searched for a quiet place to sort things out with God. i really wanted to like just go and hug him and thank Him so much for what he has done and is going to do. i kinda walked around my neighbourhood. with time i caught my breath, and really appreciated and pondered on the what Jesus had done, and the lyrics of 'Here i am to worship' really spoke to me.

i realised how God would and could actually speak to us. through, our leaders, through the Holy Spirit, and through the word of God. all the more, i cant deny the fact that He is real, that He certainly do exist. what He told me i shant tell you, haha, i would like to keep things between me and Him lah. but what u do need to know is no matter how we love to believe that one day our dearest friends and family would know the truth, there is gonna be so many people who would not believe and recieve salvation through faith, unless we Christians do something about that. whether the world is gonna change, whether you want to see your family living a life of purpose and whether one day the whole earth would praise God with one heart and soul, is totally up to YOU, the very person reading this. God has certainly tighten and pulled my family back together. He saved me from what i was. Do we take your salvation for granted? Do we take God for granted? as pastor Shirley puts it, "for all the time we spend and things we give to God, has God ever short-changed you? if you truely spend time and think about that, you would be extremely grateful." now i truely understand how people felt and was going through when God reveal Himself to us. this is certainly a very special day to me in my walk with God, like wow lah. alright then. see ya in school tomorrow.